University Counseling Service

Despite best intentions, our conversations often go awry when our ideas are questioned, we feel like we are under attack, and, out of habit, we protect ourselves by rushing to resolve the conflict. However, not all conflict needs a solution and sometimes its better if it doesn't.

Tipping points are catalyzing moments that drive change. The COVID-19 pandemic and heightened awareness of historical and current inequities prompted critical self-reflection and assessment of our work-life balance—why we work, where we work, how we work, the type of workplace culture and environment we work in, and the impact of our work.

Despite this common belief, when talking to students in distress, we are more effective when we are active listeners. It is a path of less responsibility and greater effectiveness when we use active listening rather than the more commonly used approach of attempting to fix, make better, or solve.  

Active listening helps students tell and expand their stories about their distress without our expectation that we will fix or solve the issues. Often students do not readily tell others about their struggles, so their stories largely reside in the vast, bottomless place of their heads, where they often grow to unreasonable proportions.